sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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