Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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