I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
