Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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