All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
