Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
