My first STD was from a foam party
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
