If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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