i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
