dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Be still, my beating vagina.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
