i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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