So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
