if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just tell him i said nine months
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
