She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
