I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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