i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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