I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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