I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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