well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
