dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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