I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize