What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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