my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh god it's open bar.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
