you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
