My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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