I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
