I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
