I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
