I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
