i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
