i think i have herpe
just one?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
