umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
