PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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