listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
