It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
