Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
