Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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