who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
