Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
