Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
