i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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