Dual....:-)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
