I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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