Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's Friday. Sex?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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