thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
