I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
