Im at strip club and am horny
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
