Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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