he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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