Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
