i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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