If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
